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Once Upon A Looney Tune/Transcript
This is a transcript for The New Looney Tunes Show TV film "Once Upon A Looney Tune". A Warner Bros. Animation logo variant, which is a spoof of the 1985 Walt Disney Pictures logo, is shown. Then, Dot appears dressed as Tinkerbell and turns it into a sky, beginning the film. The first scene shows the Warners riding a magic carpet driven by a Arabian-like Claude Cat. Then, the title card and opening credits appear in a cloud. The camera, after the opening credits, focuses on the Warners. *'Yakko:' I can't believe that Rambling House sent us to sell books to a place that is far far away. *'Wakko:' I know. Why couldn't we go to a place with a lot of food? *'Dot:' There's no time to think about food. We have books to sell and these customers will not resist to look at my pretty face. The camera focuses on an Arabian palace, where Sultan Sylvester chases a storyteller who ran away from the palace. *'Sylvester:' Come back right now if you don't want to be fried in boiling oil. I'm warning you. (the storyteller escapes) Sufferin' succotash! Why is it so hard to find a storyteller? *'Storyteller:' Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Gave me a double hotfoot. I was once... a human being. Ha ha ha ha! That rotten kitten in there was my undoing. He doesn't need a storyteller. He needs an exorcist! (he runs away) Sylvester angrilly returns to the palace. Queen Sylvia reads a magazine, which Sylvester gives her up. *'Sylvester:' Sylvia. Give up! *'Sylvia:' What happened? *'Sylvester:' Another storyteller escaped. That happens to us again for forgetting to lay out my asbestos shoes so my feet wouldn't get burnt.. Without no storyteller feller, we're stuck with having to read dumb stories to our son all day, which gives me no time for running the government. (gong clangs) I'll get the door. Sylvester opens the door, and sees the Warners. *'Yakko:' (muttering) May we introduce ourselves? (he shows one of their book copies) We represent the Rambling House Publishing Company and we're here to show you our latest volume entitled 1001 Tales for Toddlers. *'Sylvester:' Sold! (he grabs the Warners and he enters them inside) Hey, Sylvia! I found a book for Junior! Here's a bonus that goes with it! *'Wakko:' This handy-dandy plastic bookmark? *'Dot:' Or the monster in the box? (she shows a tiny box, opens it, a monster appears and Dot closes the box) The camera focuses on Sylvester and Sylvia. *'Sylvester:' No! You're the bonus and you're going to read them stories to our pestiferous, spoiled-rotten, loud-mouth, crybaby son! Cut to the Warners, who are somewhat unamused. *'Dot:' Look, cat! Why don't you just read the story to him yourself? We don't have much time here, you know. *'Yakko:' Yeah. She's got a point. *'Wakko:' (agrees) Uh-huh. Sylvester gets steamed. *'Yakko:' Whoa! Take it easy there, old boy! You're foaming at the mouth! Sylvester is seen foaming at the mouth. *'Wakko:' What should we do now? *'Yakko:' Run! The Warners zipped out of the scene, but Sylvester stretched his arm to grab the Warners by their necks. He brings them over to him in a flash. *'Sylvester:' I don't think so, creepy puppy inkblots. Sylvester let go the Warners and they landed on the floor. *'Sylvester:' You're not going anywhere until you read my son these stories! *'Yakko:' Uh-uh! Sorry, big kitty! We're not babysitters! I look after my siblings the whole time, but your son! Ho-ho! That is a big N-O, which means "No deal!" *'Sylvester:' What? I'M THE SULTAN OF THIS PALACE! *'Sylvia:' Sylvester, please. Have control. *'Yakko:' Whoa. Hold on, sultan feline. We're not reading to a spoiled brat you call a son! *'Sylvester:' Okay. How well do you like boiling oil? *'Dot:' Oh, well, I've never tasted it. *'Wakko:' Me neither. *'Sylvester:' No. I mean bathe you with it. The Warners appeared shocked again. Then they go from shocked to unamused. *'Yakko:' (long pause) Alright. You talked us into it. Where is the little tyke you want us to read to? *'Sylvia:' He's over there in the maze. We fast pan to Prince Sylvester Junior in the maze, and couldn't find a way to get out. *'Sylvester Junior:' Father. How do I get out of here? *'Sylvester:' Try the exit, son! Sylvester Junior finally finds the exit, and comes to his parents. *'Sylvester Junior:' What did you do with my storyteller? I want a story! I'll hold my breath till I turn blue. He holds his breath, which his father reponds it. *'Sylvester:' How many times do I have to tell you? You're a prince. Sylvester Junior opens his mouth, ending holding. *'Sylvester Junior:' What's that? *'Sylvester:' They're your storytellers. They are new ones. They can tell you real good stories, can't you? Say yes. *'Yakko:' Oops... Uh, yes. We can do that. *'Wakko:' Sure. (to the audience) I'm a bit afraid. *'Dot:' Well... Yeah? *'Yakko:' We got a lot of keen stories in this book. *'Sylvester Junior:' Okay. Can you tell me the one about where the crazy kiddos are thinking that they hate babysitting and want to get rid of me for bad-mouthing them?! Sylvester covers his son's mouth. *'Sylvester:' Junior! (he turns to the Warners) Sorry about that. My son's not very good at making a first impression to new storytellers. *'Yakko:' (confused) Okay? *'Sylvester:' Now, Junior. You be nice to the storytellers. (turns to the Warners) And if you kids don't read stories to my son here. (pulls out a devilish expression) You're gonna get your bath in boiling oil. The Warners are terrified by Sylvester's devilish expression. The camera fades to black and the next scene begins, where the Warners and Sylvester Junior sit in a couch in the prince's room. *'Yakko:' Haaaaaaa... Let's see. What kind of story we should read to you? *'Sylvester Junior:' I don't know. *'Wakko:' What about Robin Hood? *'Dot:' That sounds like a good idea. *'Sylvester Junior:' Wow. I never even heard of that story. Yakko opens the book and found the Robin Hood story. * Yakko: Okay. Here it goes. (clears his throat) Once upon a time. In a forest of the medieval times. (to audience) Whose town and place we cannot remember right now. (returns to reads the story) There lived a heroic outlaw named Robin Hood. ''Robin Hood Daffy'' Fades to the Sherwood Forest in the 15th century where various "Wanted" posters for Robin Hood (Daffy) are seen. The camera focuses on Daffy, who is seen singing. *'Daffy:' (singing) Oh... Join up with me, so joyous and free away to old Sherwood hie. For I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good at avoiding the Sheriff's eye. So we'll trip along merrily thro' the green woods so gracefully. To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it up and down. To trip it, trip it... (trips down a hill) ...trip it, trip it, trip it... Whoops! Trip it, trip it, trip it... (falls into a pond) ...so trip it up and down! After finishing, the camera focuses a laughing Friar Tuck (Porky) laughing too much, while Daffy exits the pound. *'Daffy:' What was so funny? (Porky still laughing) (to the audience) Friars. Under construction... Category:Episode transcripts Category:The New Looney Tunes Show Category:The New Looney Tunes Show episode transcripts